The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 197 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.732 billion Second Best Puppet 197ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 197ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,173 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 174,377 cards, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

Noah's handshakes with opposition leaders usually lead to thumb wars, factory workers offered 20-hour shifts are expected to thank their bosses for the wonderful opportunity, electricians spend more time in school than doctors, and record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 197's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 197 is ranked 222,091^st in the world and 1,664^th in Two for Safest, scoring 25.63 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.